People told me not to call myself a ‘victim’ after my rape. Here’s why I refused.

Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit

My experience somewhat mirrors this woman’s. The onus is on the rape victim or survivor to immediately snap back and be whole. My rapist like her rapist will never be caught or punished but I will forever be judged.

Women who go through rape are expected to be shining examples of strength and fortitude. Nobody wants to to hear about the PTSD, Insomnia, nightmares, inability to form lasting relationships, repeated hospitalizations for depression and various mental ailments.

People only want the Happy Stories. Happy Endings. They walk away and reject you as Failure to Thrive in the face of adversity.

That’s why I stopped telling my story. For in the retelling I’m labeled a failure. Null and void.

However I ask that you read this Woman’s story of how rape can or does define your life. Her words resonate with me. She says what I’m unable to say.

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Rethinking Life

our bodies
belong to
not to
the government
not to
the state
not to
the country
not to
our bodies
are not goods to be
sold, traded, or owned

women are
living, breathing
human beings
and we belong to
no one
but ourselves
NO laws
can hold us
or control us
we are not
women are
free to live
our own lives
our own way
free to make our own
without input from men
men do not
own us
rule us or
have a say
in what we do
women are not
we are
who get to
decide what
to us

who doesn’t
“get this”
can fuck off

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Murder Tramp Birthday


You are a rare child, my doctor says
and pinches the sensitive skin above my vulva
a walking swarm,
a lukewarm disaster,
a pair of
bloated cherry-coated lips
and tongue swollen from digesting prey

I grab a stud gun and nail him to the wall,
like a flying squirrel caught in a jump
Next day, he buries me carefully in his garden
I eat dirt and laugh,
making a home of my grave
I know, I know – you could never have foreseen
that even dormant and pretend-dead
I’d be twice your potency

But as sure as I’ll never forget
the wrong you’ve done me,
what’s more important is
you’ll never forget me,
and will never find me in another place.
This, I promise.

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Patricia J Grace

photo by Patricia

Such high expectations every day, and when not met the lapses are dreamt of in the night. Better to lick my lips in success than to fail. So pick up the pieces of failure and do better today.

My expectations are not too high. You can do this. You can care for your-self as if you matter and after a while you will feel it… not just try to.

Still residing is a wall between connecting with my body and feeling its workings, a frozenness. When thawed there is wholeness, but then the next moment not. The work continues; to remain open to all feelings, not run from them by icing, an unconscious response.

You will get there, and much has occurred to be present and feel safe. As one safe moment on top of another mounts, the risk taken to be here now seems worth it…

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Crow Friday Poem: Speaking or Not

Crow On The Wire

hand.jpgI listen first.

I speak out
when I’m ready.

I won’t be forced
to talk
against my will
or take advice
from a person 
who really doesn’t know.

I will talk
in my own voice,
in due time,
by my actions
or inactions,
just with my eyes
or with my hands,

whether with words
or a furrowed brow,
a nod of the head,
chest bumps or fist pumps,
smiles with a thumbs-up sign.

I know
that speaking or not speaking
is my choice.

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5 Ways You Can Uplift Your Sister

I know you may have a lot going on right now.

You are trying to get your life in order and it feels like you are carrying the world on your back.

Honey you are not alone.

No matter how hard you work, you will never be able to maximize your full potential until you lift your sisters up. Most of us fail to realize how much we actually need each other. Success is achieved when women come together.

Imagine how much we can achieve if we all encourage and support each other to reach our full potential.

I know some of you may not know where to start so I came up with 5 ways that you can uplift your sister.

  1. Support: The best way to show someone that you care is by being there for them and supporting their dreams. If your friend has a performance you should be there sitting front row. If…

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Special Call for Submissions: Exploitation of Women

Whisper and the Roar


The Whisper and the Roar Collective is seeking submissions for an upcoming series on the global exploitation of women. We are accepting poetry, prose, fiction, personal narratives, and essays on these topics from around the globe. We are looking for writing that makes us feel, makes us think, that moves us. 

April 15th– April 21st                 Domestic Violence

April 22nd – April 28th              Sexual Exploitation 

April 29- May 5th                         Female Infanticide

May 6th– May 12th                       Rape

May 13th– May 19th                 Acid Attacks

May 20th– May 26th                 Child Marriage

To Submit:

  • Send up to 3 pieces of original writing in either PDF or Word…

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