photo by Patricia
New paths, new ways of being, yet old haunts re-visit from time to time. It is unpleasant to experience ways of being from the past, where pain was my only friend. When the enemy was myself.
Every interaction brought doubt edging on the verge of paranoia. Did this person seem uninterested, indifferent, or in some other way emanating negative vibes because of me, or something I said or did?
These feelings loomed large, strong and constant, over every interaction. The load was very painful and a burden that needn’t have been carried at all. Though not completely free, there are moments when the cloud drops heavy and self-talk isn’t enough.
To make a mistake caused such anguish that the pain doubled me over. Especially harsh on myself, it was my own flogging that brought the blood of remorse and the inability to forgive. To forgive my…
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