Willing to Survive

I came across this bit of information three months after I was raped for a second time:

In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again. (Acierno, Resnick, Kilpatrick, Saunders and Best, Jnl. of Anxiety Disorders 13, 6.)

and my first reaction was to think, “WTF?! Do I have some kind of f***ing permanent target on my back or something?”

Target practice (courtesy of GiftsandDec.com)

Maybe. And that makes me scared. I started this blog because I don’t want to be victimized again. I want to recover and be able to look back on myself someday and say, “I beat that S.O.B.!” The idea that I may not be able to avoid self-destruction is my worst nightmare (see why in my post about Fantasia Barrino’s lifestyle).

But I’ll put panic aside for a moment. I don’t know my…

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5 thoughts on “Share: “If You’ve Been Victimized Once, You’re Statistically Likely to Be Raped Again”

  1. This troubled me as a survivor but also when I worked at the Rape Crisis Center. Many times people who are raped are considered partly responsible. It’s not true, but it’s a widely held belief among prosecutors / law enforcers and personnel. There is a racial and class/income divide also. If you are a pretty young woman who is white and middle class chances people will believe you are higher. It disgusts me. I cannot tell you how much it disgusts me. In the four years I worked there, we had ONE successful rape conviction. ONE. This speaks to a system that is completely broken. As long as survivors walk among a system that is broken knowing little is done, how do they conquer their fear? It is said that a predator can detect any vulnerability. It is NOT the fault of the survivor. It is the fault of a system that does not protect her. Thank you for posting this more needs to be said about this issue.


    1. This is absolutely devastating to hear…I went to a rape crisis center in New York (CVTC). I originally came for legal advocacy as I cannot afford a lawyer, and I already was going to therapy. There wasn’t much they could do, so I just went to counseling every week for 7 months until I moved. The counseling was incredible though. It was such a good experience (in comparison to the harassment and stigmatization everywhere else) that I am considering working at a crisis center myself. Hearing that, however, makes me so discouraged and I wonder if I could, considering it is a very personal topic for me, and knowing I could become extremely frustrated when there is little possibility for change…The U.S. ‘justice’ system is barely that sometimes…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No don’t be discouraged BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE. Whilst Ted Bundy may have worked at Crisis Centers and it certainly can attract some bad people that is MORE of a reason to do it, because you want to ensure others who experience what we do, can be supported and cared about. I have had good therapists too and seen good crisis therapists too, I was one, I cared, you will too. Don’t be discouraged, be determined to make the change and never let anyone feel judged or hurt by the process again. I think you could do this without becoming too frustrated, I was in TX it’s really backward here, not every state is like that by any means.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much for the encouragement! It’ll be a long road, but I do hope to get better enough to help others. I am almost finished with my B.S. for Public Health, and taking some psychology and criminal justice classes. I hope that if I have questions, I can ask you about your job at the center?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I remember before immigrating I saw this HUGE road ahead I almost gave up because I thought ‘I’m too old for this long road!’ it was overwhelming. What helped me was thinking ‘what if I did nothing/ then where would I be in x number of years?’ you realize, it’s not the time that frightens you it’s the loss of control that you cannot snap your fingers and BE where you want to be, that you are not sure if you will be able to succeed in the journey, if it will be a mistake etc. It won’t be a mistake my friend, it will be a journey and you learn more on the way than anything else, hence the value of it. You are already half way there with your BS and you can ALWAYS ask me anything (candicelouisa@rocketmail.com) because I would have wished to have someone who cared and wanted to help when I was on that road. When you get to the end you will look back and realize WOW I did that, and it will help you realize you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. It will never be a mistake. Doing nothing or doubting yourself is the only mistake, making change never will be and you can be that catalyst as your user-name implies, you already are. Just never give up on yourself. The main reason students quit (I used to teach) is lack of confidence. If they could believe themselves capable they would always surprise themselves. I was told I wouldn’t graduate high school due to having Dyscalculia, I showed them. Sometimes you have to let your indignation at something be your motivator. So being angry at the system neglecting mentally ill people is a great incentive. It’s also okay to be a little mentally ill and work in the field, nearly everyone who does, has been at some point, else how do you understand? xo


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