Share: “Helping a friend that has been sexually assaulted”

The Catalysts for Change

“If your friend was sexually assaulted, she or he may experience the following:

  • Shock
  • Disbelief
  • Anger
  • Mood swings
  • Irritability
  • Disturbances in eating and sleeping habits
  • Denial
  • Fear
  • Helplessness
  • Embarrassment
  • Depression
  • Inability to concentrate or relax
  • Resurfacing memories of past abuse

For some, the emotional impact of sexual assault can be immediate and short term. For others the effects can be long lasting. Your friend may find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained to understand and assist survivors of sexual assault.

What you can do:

Believe unconditionally.  People rarely lie about being sexually assaulted. Be sure your friend knows how much you support her or him.

Let the survivor control the situation.  Let your friend determine the pace of healing. Help your friend understand the options available, and encourage your friend to keep her or his options open. Most importantly, allow your friend to make her or his own…

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Share: “If You’ve Been Victimized Once, You’re Statistically Likely to Be Raped Again”

Willing to Survive

I came across this bit of information three months after I was raped for a second time:

In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again. (Acierno, Resnick, Kilpatrick, Saunders and Best, Jnl. of Anxiety Disorders 13, 6.)

and my first reaction was to think, “WTF?! Do I have some kind of f***ing permanent target on my back or something?”

Target practice (courtesy of GiftsandDec.com)

Maybe. And that makes me scared. I started this blog because I don’t want to be victimized again. I want to recover and be able to look back on myself someday and say, “I beat that S.O.B.!” The idea that I may not be able to avoid self-destruction is my worst nightmare (see why in my post about Fantasia Barrino’s lifestyle).

But I’ll put panic aside for a moment. I don’t know my…

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Share: “How to escape an abusive relationship”

Living with Depression

RC8

Anyone who has never been in an abusive relationship will never understand how difficult it is to leave it.

3 years later when I look back at my abusive relationship I tell myself that if anyone was treating me that way now – I would leave them straight away.

The thing about an abusive relationship is that it does not start with an abuse.  An abuser only attacks his/her victim when the ladder is deep in the relationship and is manipulated so much that the abuse is then believed to be a form of punishment for victim who is not being good enough, not succeeding at making the abuser happy and simply is given another chance to try harder next time.

Slowly but surely the victim will start apologizing for anything and everything the abuser is not happy about and become afraid of the abusive partner.

Afraid to stand up…

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I don’t understand…why is it so hard for people to believe…? I didn’t want sex. And I didn’t want it that night. And I didn’t trust him enough yet. And I especially didn’t want it without a condom. There was no consent for multiple reasons. So I said no and I said stop. And he said, “It’s fine I’ll pull out”, and he shoved it in anyway. And he pounded away. The more frustrated he got about not coming, the more rough he was.

What did I do wrong? Is it so bad that I tried to do something about it? That I reported it? Did I just so terribly inconvenience everyone when they had to make a statement? How can they undeservingly push me further into a world of self-blame?

Abusive relationships in one quote.

“He promised to take care of me, and yet I feel afraid. I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse. I don’t feel like Nick’s wife. I don’t feel like a person at all: I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock. I am something to be tossed into a junkyard, thrown into the river, if necessary. I don’t feel real anymore. I feel like I could disappear…”

—Amy Dunn, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn

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A new chapter.

These past few months have brought about various events and developments—some intertwined, some entirely independent—that have caused me to question my self worth in the aspects of appearance, intelligence, maturity, and how others perceive me. While I do enjoy my little, secretive and selective world, this can serve as a small glimpse into it for those who care enough. But like all the writing that I have been doing as of late, this is primarily for me, myself, and I. Times like these can be made at least a little less painful by organizing one’s thoughts and finding ways to cope.

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Daily Dose of Inspiration – Unapologetically You

Be Inspired..!!

If you are living true to yourself and your inner drivers (and not purposefully trying to hurt others) then you never need to apologise for being yourself. If you are chasing your dream, doing what comes naturally, and being yourself at all times then others just need to accept you for you. If they cannot do that then they are simply not worthy of your time. People who want you to change, or want to belittle your thoughts and dreams, or just want you to stop being yourself are not healthy people to spend your time with. These attitudes are negative and poisonous and they will constantly degrade your life if you allow them to exist around you. Do not do this. Do not let these people and these attitudes in to your life. If people cannot respect you for being true to yourself then they need to be shown…

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What Do Angels Look Like?

Purplerays

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‘What Do Angels Look Like?
Like the little old lady who returned your wallet yesterday.
Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes light up the world when you smile.
Like the small child who showed you the wonder in simple things.
Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you.
Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if only you believe.
Like the stranger who just happened to come along when you had lost your way.
Like the friend who touched your heart, when you didn’t think you had one.
Angels come in all sizes and shapes, all ages and skin types.
Some with freckles, some with dimples, some with wrinkles, some without.
They come disguised as friends, enemies, teachers, students, lovers and fools.
They don’t take life too seriously, they travel light.
They leave no forwarding address…

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Having A Soft Heart

Discovering Your Happiness

Hello loves ❤

Even if you have a soft heart, even if you’re born to just give love more than you will receive it and even if you are the person that everyone takes for granted because they know your heart will always take them back, your heart will always forgive the unforgivable and your heart will always give them another chance, you can still be a little bit tougher. You can still be a little bit harder on people. You can still do things just to protect your own damn heart. Just to safeguard it from those who only want to destroy it.

Because having a soft heart doesn’t mean you should drop your standards or stop having limits or let everything go without setting boundaries.

Having a soft heart doesn’t mean you should allow people to walk all over you or think they can just walk in and…

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Hands to Yourself

Free Verse ReVolution

I am not yours until I decide you’re mine,
and honey, those stars
just aren’t aligning.

There’s no secret
romance hiding, so for you
to see one in plain sight is blindness.

I didn’t want you, and
you still took me.

There was no harm in looking, but your
eyes have hands that
undress my dignity,
leave me nude and
stranded in the morning heat.

Hands to yourself because if
you had ever felt them touch
unwanted places, remembered
the faces which owned them,
the sexual loneliness,

you’d know I’m more
than flesh and bones, and my sense
of safety’s shattered.

Not that it
ever mattered to you.

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The Creator Writings: Just Let Go…

Openhearted Rebel

via Jennifer Farley, Thanks to Galactic Free Press

As frustrating as it is for you, it is time to let some things go. You know the ones; the resentments, the angers, the hurts and pains.  The amount of space these things take up in your every day life is astronomical.

Every time you ‘feed’ them, they keep you exactly where you are….stagnant and feeling exactly the same as you did when they occurred.  It is time to breathe some ‘new air’, my darling one.  You are worthy and deserving of this gift to yourself. ~ Creator

https://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2017/11/15/just-let-go/

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AGAIN

TheFeatheredSleep


Sadness should never be more familiar than peace

Yet some days it is as if

Snow felted the house with only one emotion

And try as you might, the loneliness of your life envelopes

I have never found a remedy for that blue note

Striving to exorcise an unsettled icing of grief

Telling myself this too will pass

Somehow strikes false

For isolation

Looking out at the great cleave of land

Stretching as far as the eye can make out

One can say does not have to be sad

Yet if the majority of days you wake in silence

Wondering how you missed the full house

What happened to cast your dice alone?

Where from your earliest memory you shared space with emptiness

You may look at others with full lives and wonder how

But it is a language you never learned

The discipline of togetherness or choice to be…

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