Share: “Helping a friend that has been sexually assaulted”

The Catalysts for Change

“If your friend was sexually assaulted, she or he may experience the following:

  • Shock
  • Disbelief
  • Anger
  • Mood swings
  • Irritability
  • Disturbances in eating and sleeping habits
  • Denial
  • Fear
  • Helplessness
  • Embarrassment
  • Depression
  • Inability to concentrate or relax
  • Resurfacing memories of past abuse

For some, the emotional impact of sexual assault can be immediate and short term. For others the effects can be long lasting. Your friend may find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained to understand and assist survivors of sexual assault.

What you can do:

Believe unconditionally.  People rarely lie about being sexually assaulted. Be sure your friend knows how much you support her or him.

Let the survivor control the situation.  Let your friend determine the pace of healing. Help your friend understand the options available, and encourage your friend to keep her or his options open. Most importantly, allow your friend to make her or his own…

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Share: “If You’ve Been Victimized Once, You’re Statistically Likely to Be Raped Again”

Willing to Survive

I came across this bit of information three months after I was raped for a second time:

In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again. (Acierno, Resnick, Kilpatrick, Saunders and Best, Jnl. of Anxiety Disorders 13, 6.)

and my first reaction was to think, “WTF?! Do I have some kind of f***ing permanent target on my back or something?”

Target practice (courtesy of GiftsandDec.com)

Maybe. And that makes me scared. I started this blog because I don’t want to be victimized again. I want to recover and be able to look back on myself someday and say, “I beat that S.O.B.!” The idea that I may not be able to avoid self-destruction is my worst nightmare (see why in my post about Fantasia Barrino’s lifestyle).

But I’ll put panic aside for a moment. I don’t know my…

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Share: “How to escape an abusive relationship”

Living with Depression

RC8

Anyone who has never been in an abusive relationship will never understand how difficult it is to leave it.

3 years later when I look back at my abusive relationship I tell myself that if anyone was treating me that way now – I would leave them straight away.

The thing about an abusive relationship is that it does not start with an abuse.  An abuser only attacks his/her victim when the ladder is deep in the relationship and is manipulated so much that the abuse is then believed to be a form of punishment for victim who is not being good enough, not succeeding at making the abuser happy and simply is given another chance to try harder next time.

Slowly but surely the victim will start apologizing for anything and everything the abuser is not happy about and become afraid of the abusive partner.

Afraid to stand up…

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I don’t understand…why is it so hard for people to believe…? I didn’t want sex. And I didn’t want it that night. And I didn’t trust him enough yet. And I especially didn’t want it without a condom. There was no consent for multiple reasons. So I said no and I said stop. And he said, “It’s fine I’ll pull out”, and he shoved it in anyway. And he pounded away. The more frustrated he got about not coming, the more rough he was.

What did I do wrong? Is it so bad that I tried to do something about it? That I reported it? Did I just so terribly inconvenience everyone when they had to make a statement? How can they undeservingly push me further into a world of self-blame?

Abusive relationships in one quote.

“He promised to take care of me, and yet I feel afraid. I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse. I don’t feel like Nick’s wife. I don’t feel like a person at all: I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock. I am something to be tossed into a junkyard, thrown into the river, if necessary. I don’t feel real anymore. I feel like I could disappear…”

—Amy Dunn, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn

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A new chapter.

These past few months have brought about various events and developments—some intertwined, some entirely independent—that have caused me to question my self worth in the aspects of appearance, intelligence, maturity, and how others perceive me. While I do enjoy my little, secretive and selective world, this can serve as a small glimpse into it for those who care enough. But like all the writing that I have been doing as of late, this is primarily for me, myself, and I. Times like these can be made at least a little less painful by organizing one’s thoughts and finding ways to cope.

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Soul Rape

Blood Into Ink

naked and shackled

she is penned to the page

she clutches tattered

vestiges of dignity

shredded

she fails to cover herself

or fend off

the vicious stripping

of her privacy

with each heinous

thrust of pointed nibs

they anoint themselves

absolved of depravity

in her proclaimed guilt

“Isn’t it true

you were wearing

your naivete

cut down to there?”

they berate her

in rhythmic assaults

“we know you

strutted around in

your belief

 in human goodness”

they pound into her

bruised and battered

“we have pictures

of your giving nature

skin-tight, slit

to the moon”

they leer, animalistic

hiss and sneer

“we have witnesses

who will testify

you trusted

much too loosely

whore

they exhaust themselves

emptying poison

into her limp vessel

as with all

who become their prey

she falls silent

convinced any fight

provokes further violations

she closes her mind

shutters shattered psyche

while they chuckle

grin…

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See You In Court

Habeebaty Writes

I’m suing you today

So see you in Court

I’m suing the offenders

Who think harassment is fine

I’m suing the perpetrators

Of this horrendous crime
I’m suing you for the nightmares

I’m suing you for the fear

I’m suing you for never looking at humanity the same

See you in court.


I’m suing the parents

Who never let their children know

“No means No”

Don’t let anyone touch you if you don’t want

Speak up when in fear

Speak up i promise you I’ll hear

Tell me dear, I promise I’ll listen

For this, I’m suing you

See you in court

I’m suing Society

For stigmatizing victims

For not being supportive

For letting these offenders loose

For failing your people

For making it hard for me to speak up

For this, and many more

See you in Court

I’m suing the Education system

You taught 1+1, ABC, 123

But…

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Quote…

Rethinking Life

Pinerest
Quote by: J.K.Rowling
Quotir

We are who we are because of the stories in our lives.  Stories from the people around us, from our culture, for the books we read.  That’s all we are…we are stories, each and everyone of us.  A page of our lives a day is what constitutes a life.

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Dear Betsy

Until It Happens To You

The University of Notre Dame violated 7 statutes of the Clery Act and 5 statutes of Title IX during my case of sexual harassment, stalking, and dating violence against a former student. Had the University of Notre Dame abided by Title IX and the Clery Act, I would have been given a fair and balanced investigation and hearing, and the student in question likely would have been dismissed immediately for serial abuse and rape. I received neither, and as such, I was forced to remain in 4 classes with my abuser every single day, totaling over 16 hours per week. Each and every day I sat in a lecture hall trying not to think of the possibility that at any moment, he could pull out a gun and shoot me in the back of the head, or assault me on my way to class. I was tormented by symptoms of…

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Half of Infinity

KavaraStories

You feel like a cloud,
Beautiful, free, and ever changing
Majestic and cool
But untouchable
Colorful and infinite
But untraceable
Elementary and composed
Yet unbreakable
Because your complexion isn’t whole to be broken
Just like half of infinity
Uncountable

©KavaraStories

JOIN MEAND SHARE YOUR POETRY ON MY NEW PAGE,THE POET’S POINT

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  • Give and receive feedback
  • Build an audience for your blog

I want to thank everyone who reads my poetry – thank you for always leaving me such great comments and feedback. I would love to return the favor.

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ALL; Comes And Goes

emotionsoflife2016

Faith comes and goes,
You can see it in the petals of a rose;
You can even see it in the eyes of our youth,
How they thirst for truth.

Hope comes and goes,
You can see it in the shadows;
You can even see it in a child,
No longer do they smile.

Love comes and goes,
Hope and faith froze.
You saw it and felt it,
Some will not admit.

What do we do when love, hope and faith come and go?
Do we see them as the foe?
Or do we wait for another experience to help us glow?
I guess we will never know,
Only time will tell; would you be ready for another show?

Copyright © 2017 Manuel Osornio-emotionsoflife2016

Image source https://www.pexels.com/

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The Island of Broken Toys

Damaged_Luna

The Island of Broken Toys
A nightmares reality
A cursed ground for all the
Unwanted, unneeded, imperfect
This Island of dust
Its only residents
Our very own idol
Barbie
In a world of perfection there is no room for mistakes
21 inch waist
30 inch bust
Long legs, slim arms, perfect face
Everything toned in all the right places
The image of the perfect woman
Those Barbies only see this place as their very own version of Hell
A secret they dare not even whisper

The Island of Broken Toys
Perfect women don’t belong here
Throughout these sandboxes are only lost souls
Mistakes
22 inch waist
33 inch bust
Stubby legs, arms like broken sticks, a smudge on her lips
Much too far away from perfection
Here they lie
Taking the hand they were dealt
If you are not perfect, you are not worth it

These Barbies eat nothing but…

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