Share: “Helping a friend that has been sexually assaulted”

The Catalysts for Change

“If your friend was sexually assaulted, she or he may experience the following:

  • Shock
  • Disbelief
  • Anger
  • Mood swings
  • Irritability
  • Disturbances in eating and sleeping habits
  • Denial
  • Fear
  • Helplessness
  • Embarrassment
  • Depression
  • Inability to concentrate or relax
  • Resurfacing memories of past abuse

For some, the emotional impact of sexual assault can be immediate and short term. For others the effects can be long lasting. Your friend may find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained to understand and assist survivors of sexual assault.

What you can do:

Believe unconditionally.  People rarely lie about being sexually assaulted. Be sure your friend knows how much you support her or him.

Let the survivor control the situation.  Let your friend determine the pace of healing. Help your friend understand the options available, and encourage your friend to keep her or his options open. Most importantly, allow your friend to make her or his own…

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Share: “If You’ve Been Victimized Once, You’re Statistically Likely to Be Raped Again”

Willing to Survive

I came across this bit of information three months after I was raped for a second time:

In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again. (Acierno, Resnick, Kilpatrick, Saunders and Best, Jnl. of Anxiety Disorders 13, 6.)

and my first reaction was to think, “WTF?! Do I have some kind of f***ing permanent target on my back or something?”

Target practice (courtesy of

Maybe. And that makes me scared. I started this blog because I don’t want to be victimized again. I want to recover and be able to look back on myself someday and say, “I beat that S.O.B.!” The idea that I may not be able to avoid self-destruction is my worst nightmare (see why in my post about Fantasia Barrino’s lifestyle).

But I’ll put panic aside for a moment. I don’t know my…

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Share: “How to escape an abusive relationship”

Living with Depression


Anyone who has never been in an abusive relationship will never understand how difficult it is to leave it.

3 years later when I look back at my abusive relationship I tell myself that if anyone was treating me that way now – I would leave them straight away.

The thing about an abusive relationship is that it does not start with an abuse.  An abuser only attacks his/her victim when the ladder is deep in the relationship and is manipulated so much that the abuse is then believed to be a form of punishment for victim who is not being good enough, not succeeding at making the abuser happy and simply is given another chance to try harder next time.

Slowly but surely the victim will start apologizing for anything and everything the abuser is not happy about and become afraid of the abusive partner.

Afraid to stand up…

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I don’t understand…why is it so hard for people to believe…? I didn’t want sex. And I didn’t want it that night. And I didn’t trust him enough yet. And I especially didn’t want it without a condom. There was no consent for multiple reasons. So I said no and I said stop. And he said, “It’s fine I’ll pull out”, and he shoved it in anyway. And he pounded away. The more frustrated he got about not coming, the more rough he was.

What did I do wrong? Is it so bad that I tried to do something about it? That I reported it? Did I just so terribly inconvenience everyone when they had to make a statement? How can they undeservingly push me further into a world of self-blame?

Abusive relationships in one quote.

“He promised to take care of me, and yet I feel afraid. I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse. I don’t feel like Nick’s wife. I don’t feel like a person at all: I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock. I am something to be tossed into a junkyard, thrown into the river, if necessary. I don’t feel real anymore. I feel like I could disappear…”

—Amy Dunn, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn

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A new chapter.

These past few months have brought about various events and developments—some intertwined, some entirely independent—that have caused me to question my self worth in the aspects of appearance, intelligence, maturity, and how others perceive me. While I do enjoy my little, secretive and selective world, this can serve as a small glimpse into it for those who care enough. But like all the writing that I have been doing as of late, this is primarily for me, myself, and I. Times like these can be made at least a little less painful by organizing one’s thoughts and finding ways to cope.

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So it continues…….. Eviction/domestic abuse


So it continues

You arrive unannounced at your house

When the kids are late for school

And they dislike you

So it continues

The stress that you cause

You think no more

Of how we abhor


So it continues

The things that you do

That drive us to fear

I stand brave

But my body is demising

So it continues

Your intimidation

Your insults

Your ‘lord it’ behaviour

You were once my saviour

So it continues

And the hurt

Warm salt water seeps


Because once I loved you

So it continues

I’m such a callous cow

I became that somewhow

I sank so low

You say. But did I? I don’t know

So it continues

You refuse to accept

Your wrong doings and infect

My mind with your attack and defence

Running simultaneously

So it continues

Those that hated me

Because they loved you so

Fuelling your show

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Women Are Stronger Than Us


Women are stronger than us
with bodies and hearts
Resistant from rust
They rock the world by their hands
They rule kingdoms
and empires,
and nations
and kings in castles of sand;
When the clock strikes 12
and when life nears death
The woman defies fate
And under their spells
Man falls prey
For women are stronger than anyone
And those tears they shed are stars
Each shimmering like gold
Like diamonds—
and provocative
that no man could ever resist
For women will always be stronger than us.

#TheWeirdPoet #Nichomachus

Follow me on Instagram: @_theweirdpoet

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Without Consent Sex/Love Making Is Rape

Speaking From Experience

Without consent sex is rape. There are no grey areas. It’s as simple as black and white, day and night or YES and NO.
If a person says ‘s maybe that is not consenting because maybe is not yes. Maybe is the space in which a person is still deciding if they want to make love or have sex and if you invade that space by forcing the person to have sex/make love then you are a rapist.
“Rape is the total invasion and destruction of one person by another person but with help, the victim can and will recover”.
What qualifies me to say this is that I have been there and have lived through the rape and full recovery. Now I have chosen to use my voice to help others to see what has happened to them was rape and wasn’t their fault because rape is the…

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Cristian Mihai

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.”  – Mother Teresa

I just wanted to share this with you. Some of the best advice you can find. Truly amazing. I have nothing to add or comment. Maybe we should act like this on a day to day basis, not just…

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Pride she took in her own inner Strength and Independence,

Needed no one, as her Self held up to all needs,

This until her hour of fate.

On the stroke of the coveted time,

A little past the crack of dawn,

Her Strength she met in human form.

Baffled and apprehensive was her line of defence,

Unfathomable seemed the situation,

Her high self esteem and pride taken aback.

Feminine eyes were feasting upon the Perfect,

Here was he giving her a run for money,

Her Strength a faction of his was.

Enveloped in jealousy as her vanity stood on shaken ground,

Honesty she couldn’t shrug and had to acknowledge His,

Until she looked within again and realised Her strength standing without.

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“if you simply try to tell the truth…you will…become original without ever having noticed it”

Art of Quotation

lewis wp

“if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.”

― C.S. Lewis, 1898-1963, English, British, writer, author, novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, literary critic, essayist, lay theologian

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