Share: “Helping a friend that has been sexually assaulted”

The Catalysts for Change

“If your friend was sexually assaulted, she or he may experience the following:

  • Shock
  • Disbelief
  • Anger
  • Mood swings
  • Irritability
  • Disturbances in eating and sleeping habits
  • Denial
  • Fear
  • Helplessness
  • Embarrassment
  • Depression
  • Inability to concentrate or relax
  • Resurfacing memories of past abuse

For some, the emotional impact of sexual assault can be immediate and short term. For others the effects can be long lasting. Your friend may find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained to understand and assist survivors of sexual assault.

What you can do:

Believe unconditionally.  People rarely lie about being sexually assaulted. Be sure your friend knows how much you support her or him.

Let the survivor control the situation.  Let your friend determine the pace of healing. Help your friend understand the options available, and encourage your friend to keep her or his options open. Most importantly, allow your friend to make her or his own…

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Share: “If You’ve Been Victimized Once, You’re Statistically Likely to Be Raped Again”

Willing to Survive

I came across this bit of information three months after I was raped for a second time:

In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again. (Acierno, Resnick, Kilpatrick, Saunders and Best, Jnl. of Anxiety Disorders 13, 6.)

and my first reaction was to think, “WTF?! Do I have some kind of f***ing permanent target on my back or something?”

Target practice (courtesy of GiftsandDec.com)

Maybe. And that makes me scared. I started this blog because I don’t want to be victimized again. I want to recover and be able to look back on myself someday and say, “I beat that S.O.B.!” The idea that I may not be able to avoid self-destruction is my worst nightmare (see why in my post about Fantasia Barrino’s lifestyle).

But I’ll put panic aside for a moment. I don’t know my…

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Share: “How to escape an abusive relationship”

Living with Depression

RC8

Anyone who has never been in an abusive relationship will never understand how difficult it is to leave it.

3 years later when I look back at my abusive relationship I tell myself that if anyone was treating me that way now – I would leave them straight away.

The thing about an abusive relationship is that it does not start with an abuse.  An abuser only attacks his/her victim when the ladder is deep in the relationship and is manipulated so much that the abuse is then believed to be a form of punishment for victim who is not being good enough, not succeeding at making the abuser happy and simply is given another chance to try harder next time.

Slowly but surely the victim will start apologizing for anything and everything the abuser is not happy about and become afraid of the abusive partner.

Afraid to stand up…

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I don’t understand…why is it so hard for people to believe…? I didn’t want sex. And I didn’t want it that night. And I didn’t trust him enough yet. And I especially didn’t want it without a condom. There was no consent for multiple reasons. So I said no and I said stop. And he said, “It’s fine I’ll pull out”, and he shoved it in anyway. And he pounded away. The more frustrated he got about not coming, the more rough he was.

What did I do wrong? Is it so bad that I tried to do something about it? That I reported it? Did I just so terribly inconvenience everyone when they had to make a statement? How can they undeservingly push me further into a world of self-blame?

Abusive relationships in one quote.

“He promised to take care of me, and yet I feel afraid. I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse. I don’t feel like Nick’s wife. I don’t feel like a person at all: I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock. I am something to be tossed into a junkyard, thrown into the river, if necessary. I don’t feel real anymore. I feel like I could disappear…”

—Amy Dunn, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn

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A new chapter.

These past few months have brought about various events and developments—some intertwined, some entirely independent—that have caused me to question my self worth in the aspects of appearance, intelligence, maturity, and how others perceive me. While I do enjoy my little, secretive and selective world, this can serve as a small glimpse into it for those who care enough. But like all the writing that I have been doing as of late, this is primarily for me, myself, and I. Times like these can be made at least a little less painful by organizing one’s thoughts and finding ways to cope.

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The World Needs To Stop With The Hatred 

Thoughts and Views

Why is everyone so consumed by hatred? Everytime that the television or Internet gets turned on, we see so much violence against humanity. Our communities are falling apart because everyone chooses to live in constant contact with fear, causing major issues among each other. We live in an unstable world. Nobody wants to focus on their happiness, on their future. It’s your community that needs attention. I see people destroying properties from the past. History has been disrespected by hate groups. Violence is never going to stop, unless we all show respect for people around us. Help your neighbor in need and stop hating each other.

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Map

Heart Breathings

there is only one map inside my head,
one that is imprinted in my heart,
and it leads to the man who waits for me,
the one whose smile makes me want him even more

love takes up all the space in my world,
but, want, I’ve discovered, is a world unto its own;
everything else drops off the map:
bodies of water, earthly masses,
friends, family,
the before, the after -
all of it gone

the only thing I can think about
is the road to him;
the stoplights, the pavement lines,
the flame-red door, the first,
finger-curling embrace,
the fire in his eyes

there is only one map inside my head,
one that is imprinted in my heart

and it always leads me home

-image via Tumblr, source unknown

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Bringing my mind to the present

In A Messy World

I’ve been unwell for the past two weeks.
I’d been staying up at nights, coughing through the long hours,
my fever rising,
and my bin overflowing with snotty tissues.

I’m still not 100%, but today has been one of the good days – mentally.

I was getting ready to have a nice, long bath.
I got undressed and I stood in front of the mirror.
I acknowledged that I am alive and I am breathing.
It’s one of the rare times I do this;
To acknowledge this and actually feel like it means something
rather than telling myself it for the sake of it.

I studied myself carefully.
My face. My body.
I studied the spots on my face;
I studied my eyebrows;
my brown eyes;
my nose;
and my lips.
I touched my face and felt its softness.
I traced my finger down my nose and all over…

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She…a short story

Rethinking Life

Photo from Pixabay

She lived alone on a very small planet…the only person, in the only house.  Her name was Minu, at least that’s what she called herself.   In truth, she was simply a She. Her lovely house was warm, cozy and filled with books.  The books kept changing, of course, since the minute she finished one, it faded away and a new one took it’s place.  Still,  the walls were filled with shelves, which were filled with books of every kind.  And if she wanted something in particular, the book simply appeared.  Minu was one of many Shes’.  When her time was up, someone would replace her, just as she had replaced the She before her. There always had been and there always would be a She, since that’s who held the universe together.  When Minu read a book it became part of reality and when she dreamed…

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I Am Getting Dizzy from Negativity #BeTheChange

Laurie B's Blog©

I don’t know about you, but the rancor in America is exhausting. Can we all please call a truce?

This is my Wish List:

  • Slow down when you drive. Better yet, how about driving the speed limit? Please try to remember that on ramp and that far right lane are for the zipper process. One after the other.
  • Smile more often. Seriously, a smile is infectious. Try it at the store. Car wash. Restaurant. Even Costco.
  • Hold the door open for someone. I guarantee you will get a smile back on this act.
  • Focus when you listen. Close that laptop. Walk away from distraction. It will increase your listening skills.
  • Dance more often. Listen to your favorite feel good music and dance with your broom when you clean the house, or rake the yard. Who cares who is watching!
  • Read a book. Reading forces a person to relax and be…

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Kindness

Daily Dose of Crazyness

To be kind is so rare these days…

Everyone has a tit for tat mentality,why can’t we be kind without expecting something in return…

To have a soft heart is something that is looked down upon…

To be emotional and to cry are things ppl are ashamed of…i wonder why

I’m an emotional person and I’m proud of who I am because when I love i love truly with every single part of me and when I hurt I hurt with my heart…

I try to think good of the people that hurt me tons of times because I believe people can change because everyone deserves a 2nd chance in life…

Even the worst of people because no one is perfect…
No1…but we all are trying

So I am a soft hearted person who crys at the smallest of things…but that’s only because I care deeply and love truly♥

So…

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